Politics

Happy 10th Birthday to Marriage Equality

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Today, June 26th, 2025, marks the 10th anniversary of the Obergefell decision by the United States Supreme Court which established that the right to marry is a fundamental right guaranteed to same-sex couples.

It was a joyous occasion, and happened to get handed down in the final days of Pride Month in 2015. There was a spontaneous celebration in the streets outside the historic Stonewall Inn in the West Village of New York City, a landmark in the LGBTQ+ equality movement. I had the good fortune of being there, and below are some photos from that day.

Ten years later, this Pride Month feels less celebratory. The state of our country and our world is… fraught. We can no more take for granted Obergefell than we could Roe. Because make no mistake, the same elements that overturned a nationwide right to abortion want to do the same for same-sex marriage. If you asked me years ago if I thought this was a possibility, I’d have said “no way!” But I could never have predicted so much of what is transpiring right now.

While I maintain that abortion and same-sex marriage are different in many ways, the forces in control of our country are forging ahead with their hateful agenda with little regard for public opinion. Checks and balances are breaking down, where they are holding at all, and the current Supreme Court is one of the worst in history. They are enabling Trump’s agenda (after first giving the President carte blanche to commit crimes in office) and backing into a (frequently tortured) legal reasoning to justify their intended outcomes. Justice Thomas has stated that the court could reverse this decision, and more.

One big thing that has changed since Obergefell, in our favor, is that the Respect for Marriage Act was passed, which repealed DOMA and requires the US government and all states and territories to recognize same-sex and interracial civil marriages. So the Supreme Court can’t simply overturn Obergefell and roll back the clock on marriage equality. The bad news is, I don’t believe this ideological and subservient Court is incapable of overturning the RFMA. Jim Obergefell himself says “[Same sex] marriage is not safe. and I think anyone who says it is, I think they’re fooling themselves.” Just look at what we’ve seen already:

  • An all out assault on “DEI” initiatives in government, education and the private sector. Corporations who just last year were waving rainbow flags folded like a cheap suit and abandoned their employees and customers in a heartbeat.
  • The Trump admin announced they are ending the option for LGBTQ+ youth callers to the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline to be connected with counselors trained specifically to assist LGBTQ+ contacts up to age 25.
  • House Republicans inserted language into the DHS funding bill to give civil immunity under federal law to individuals and organizations that discriminate against same-sex couples—by citing a religious or moral belief that marriage should be limited to one man and one woman.
  • And much more…

So what does this mean? It’s Pride and we should celebrate. These are difficult times and we need to take care of ourselves mentally to get through them, which can include letting loose every now and then. But we should also be vigilant. Our country has regressed so much, so fast, and it’s not done yet. Any cisgender LGB person who dismisses attacks on trans folks as a “distraction” or doesn’t think that concerns them needs to wake up. Even if you set aside the moral obligation to fight for the rights of others—and you shouldn’t—the type of government we have now depends on “othering” and having enemies without and within. Today the “enemies within” are immigrants and trans folks but it won’t stop there. What happens when we’ve deported the immigrants and fully oppressed trans people? The writing is on the wall. So let’s have fun today, but remember that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. We have to fight like hell for it.

The Duopoly Dilemma

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3 logos: Apple, Google, Microsoft

Long ago, I was a Google fanboy. I used many of their services (including Google+ and Google Wave, remember those?), was an earlier adopter of Android phones and even got the first pilot Chromebook. I interviewed for a job with them and gushed in my cover letter about how big of a fan I was. Now, I’ve come almost 180 degrees—let’s say 160 or so. I switched to iPhone years ago and have more recently begun a process to de-Google my life, starting with not using Chrome as my default browser or Google as my default search. I used this helpful article as a starting point for the rest of my journey. I signed up for Proton Mail (referral link, get first month of Plus free) and have started what will probably be a lengthy process to migrate away from gmail. I won’t completely drop Google as some things, like YouTube, are nearly impossible to replace. But I will use it much less.

Seems I’m not alone in my journey from promoter to detractor. From Ars Technica:

Google’s rapid rise from “scrappy search engine with doodles” to “dystopic mega-corporation” has been remarkable in many ways, especially when you consider just how much goodwill the company squandered so quickly. Along the way, though, Google has achieved one unexpected result: In a divided America, it offers just about everyone something to hate.

I embarked on my path with intention after the 2024 election. Since then I have hardened my resolve to de-Google when they announced that they were rolling back their DEI program and scraping their diverse hiring goals and that they would rename the Gulf of Mexico to Gulf of America in Google maps. These are craven acts of capitulation and complying in advance with the hateful Trump agenda.

Tweet from Sundar Pichai: “Congratulations to President @realDonaldTrump on his decisive victory. We are in a golden age of American innovation and are committed to working with his administration to help bring the benefits to everyone.”
Sundar Pichai is the CEO of Google
Tweet from Tim Cook: “Congratulations President Trump on your victory! We look forward to engaging with you and your administration to help make sure the United States continues to lead with and be fueled by ingenuity, innovation, and creativity.”

Of course, as you can see, Google is not alone in genuflecting to our aspiring dictator-in-chief. Apple Maps has also renamed the Gulf of Mexico and this week announced they would resume advertising on X, only a few weeks after its owner gave not one but two Nazi salutes.

And thus we hit the crux of the matter. When it comes to mobile phones (the software, at least), we have a duopoly. Google and Apple control the market (Android and iOS have a combined 99%+ market share globally) and while alternatives do exist, they are not practical for the vast majority of customers. A similar duopoly exists in computers, just swapping Google for Microsoft, though the situation with alternatives is a bit better there.

Tweet from Satya Nadella:“Congratulations President Trump, we’re looking forward to engaging with you and your administration to drive innovation forward that creates new growth and opportunity for the United States and the world.”
Satya Nadella is the CEO or Microsoft

For people who prefer to vote with their wallet, there is no good answer here. I don’t see an alternative to iOS or Android that is appealing to the masses coming any time soon. In my assessment, Apple is the lesser of two evils in the phone world. There are a few reasons for this:

  • Apple is better with privacy. With Google, your data and eyeballs are the product. They make money by collecting your data and selling you ads.
  • Apple has not, as of yet, abandoned their DEI initiatives and it is led by one of very few openly LGBTQ CEOs among major companies.
  • While not perfect, Apple is better at user experience.

But the differences are not that stark, and Apple charges a premium, so I can’t fault anyone who chooses Google. I am also not just moving from Google to Apple in my de-Googlefication. I didn’t switch to Apple’s email service or (desktop) browser, for example. I’ll share more about my efforts in follow-up posts to help others who might want to reduce the Google in their lives.

Now What?

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Image of a magnet in the style of a Democratic donkey logo, blue on top, red on the bottom with 4 white starts horizontally in the blue half.

Well, well, well. We’re a little over two weeks into the second Trump presidency and… holy fucking shit! I think even many of us who were shouting warnings about Trump have been a little taken aback by the breadth, depth and brazenness of fuckery that has unfolded in such a short period of time. What I, at least, am not surprised by is the complete unwillingness of elected Republicans—members of the so-called “party of law & order”—to do anything at all to reign in the lawlessness or the parade of dangerously unqualified (and often disqualified) nominees for federal office.

Surely they’ll step in when he does something unconstitutional though right? After all, these people act like the Constitution is second to the Bible (with the Second Amendment maybe being on par).

Sen. Thom Tillis, R-N.C., did acknowledge that an executive branch move to turn off a federal agency “runs afoul of the Constitution in the strictest sense.”

“It’s not uncommon for presidents to flex a little bit on where they can spend and where they can stop spending,” Tillis said. “Nobody should bellyache about that.”

Source

Oh, yeah let’s not bellyache about something that runs “afoul of the Constitution”.

In order to take a break from the doom spiral of today and look to the future, assuming for the moment that we manage to survive this existential crisis and still have free and open elections in two and four years, I want to pose a question: How do Democrats become the party of America’s future? I don’t plan do dive deep in Monday morning quarterbacking of the election, but I think the topic requires at least a little consideration of What Went Wrong.

To start with, I want to make it clear that I do not believe both parties are the same. The Democratic Party is far better than the Republican Party, now more than ever—though that last part is more because the GOP has gotten far worse than the Dems getting better.

But there was almost certainly a lack of enthusiasm in this last election. An estimated 89 million eligible voters sat out the 2024 presidential election. Voter turnout in 2024 was 63.9% (156.3M total votes) compared to 65.% (158.4 M total votes) in 2020 (which, granted, was the highest percentage since 1900). Netted out, more than 2 million Americans who vote in 2020 didn’t voted in 2024. Harris could have won with less than 230,000 additional votes in 3 key states.

There are many people who simply don’t see enough difference between the two parties right now. Both parties are beholden to big money donors and corporate interests. And while there are some polarizing issues that rile up their respective bases, when it comes to our actual politicians (not necessarily voters) there is a lot of common ground. Trump, despite having been president once already, is seen as an outsider. Many independent voters, unhappy with the status quo and not believing Harris would do anything differently swung to Trump, a disruptor.

And while many Democratic voters may consider themselves to be quite liberal, the Democratic platform and many leaders have remained rather moderate. This could lead to Democrats feeling like their party is not representing their views. Even though they should have known better, the numbers tell us some liberal voters sat out this election.

So what should the party do? I believe they need to—hear me out—be much more aggressively progressive. Some Democrats look at the results of the election and conclude they should be even more moderate and bipartisan to woo persuadable right-leaning voters, but I think that’s wrong. They can’t out-Republican the Republicans, so they shouldn’t try. They need to be the Party of America’s future by radically rethinking how we do things in this country.

I’m not saying the Democrats should do all these or that this is an exhaustive list, but some things that should be up for consideration:

  • Universal Basic Income
  • Complete overhaul of the healthcare system, ideally single payer
  • Campaign finance reform
  • Overhaul and simplify the tax code
  • Rethink policing, crime prevention and the justice system (end mass incarceration)
  • Gun control (duh)
  • Reign in private equity and other destructive economic forces
  • Assertively support human rights around the world
  • Fiercely protect the planet, including renewable energy

These aren’t new ideas. A few have been tried before (looking at you, single payer and gun control). Some, like tax reform, aren’t particularly “lefty” ideas. But they all entail pretty radical changes and they would generally make American lives better. None of them will be easy, and critics will say we can’t actually do any of these things. Certainly we can’t do them—wholesale—right now, but remember how Barack Obama sailed into the White House on a wave of Hope. Democrats haven’t been giving people much to hope for lately. The last three presidential elections have largely been “Trump is bad, and we’re not Trump.” Accurate, but not inspiring enough, even it if managed to work once, and he can’t be the boogeyman forever.

The starting point is a bold new vision for the party. From there you prioritize and start breaking it down into stages. Messaging will be key; make sure people understand the road to get where we want to be will be long. It won’t be accomplished in one term or one presidency. But we’ll all work together toward these goals, one step at a time. Each step improving lives. Who knows? Maybe after some wins Democrats will get enough of a mandate to start making big changes, like ripping and replacing the tax code.

What do you think? What else should be on the list? Or, do you think I’m totally wrong? Leave your comments below and let’s discuss.

So, That Happened

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Here we are again! It’s been ages since I’ve posted here, but given *gestures around everywhere* I’m thinking once again of dusting off this blog and using it as an outlet for my angst, of which I’m sure I’ll be having record amounts.

More to come soon, I hope. But for now, to follow up on my previous post about (then) Twitter, I have left X/Twitter and deleted my account. I couldn’t stand any more time hanging out in that virtual Nazi bar and even marginally enriching cartoon villain Elon Musk. If you’re still there, I suggest you consider doing the same. Some people may think they’re staying there to fight the good fight and keep the platform from becoming a complete cesspool, but I think it’s a lost cause.

For now you can find me over at Bluesky under the handle @bruiserchgo.bsky.social Things have been picking up there and it is much more lively than it was, and much less toxic than the other place. If you haven’t checked it out–or checked it out a while back and found it too dead–come on by! You’ll get a warm welcome, from me at least!

The Drama Goes Up to 11

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Musk’s takeover of Twitter has certainly been something to watch. Within his first few days as owner, he was spreading conspiracy theories. On October 28th, Musk tweeted:

Twitter will be forming a content moderation council with widely diverse viewpoints. No major content decisions or account reinstatements will happen before that council convenes.

Tweet dated October 28th, 2022 1:18pm CST

I’m not able to find any evidence this council has been convened and Musk has not tweeted about it since November 1st, where he referred to it in the future tense (“Twitter’s content moderation council will include…”). And yet, just two days ago he tweeted a poll stating simply “Reinstate President Trump” with Yes and No options. After two days of this highly unscientific poll, the Yeses had it and Musk declared Trump’s Twitter account would be reinstated. So much for that content moderation council, eh, Musky? By the way, when I say the poll was highly unscientific, that’s because it wasn’t sent to all Twitter users, it was tweeted from Musk’s personal account and shared across twitter via retweets. Media reports earlier in the year report his percentage of fake (aka bot) followers in the range of 1/4 to 1/2 and currently audience analytics site SparkToro reports his fake followers at 70.2%. Who know how many votes were from bot accounts and how much they spread the poll to those with certain ideologies?

Screen shot showing Elon Musk's fake follower account is 70.2% or 81,423,809 followers.
Musk’s fake follower count is 70.2%, over 81 million followers. Retrieved on November 20th from SparkToro.

At first I thought he was destroying Twitter either through ignorance or spite, but a new picture is starting to come into focus. It looks like he’s trying to stir up drama and controversy to drive more engagement on the platform. People (myself included) love to share and complain about things that we don’t like, which means many of us are complaining about Musk on Twitter, and will now be complaining about (and probably sharing awful tweets from) Trump. Advertisers which had been shying may start to salivate over the numbers. We know corporations generally have little (to no) moral compass and make most decisions based on the bottom line. If they feel the ad exposures outweigh the possible negative consequences of having their content juxtaposed with racism, homophobia, misogyny and misinformation, they’ll jump right back on that bandwagon.

So I’m not to the point of abandoning or boycotting Twitter, I’m limiting my use and I’m going to try to resist the urge to share or dogpile the stupid shit I see on there. You may notice this blog post contains no links to Twitter Dot Com and that’s intentional. I encourage like-minded folks to resist taking the bait. You don’t have to abandon the platform altogether, but don’t give Musk the rage-engagement and senseless arguments he seems to want. And as an evergreen reminder, don’t feed the trolls.

Trans Day of Visibility

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*tap tap* Is this thing on? Oh, hi there! Been ages since I’ve written anything here. You’d think between Trump, guns and all the other craziness I’d be here all the time. But it’s almost too overwhelming… I never know where to start… or where to stop.

But today I’m here to briefly (which is not usually my way) write about International Trans Day of Visibility.

I do know some trans people. While I can’t say I understand, I don’t need to understand to treat them with dignity and respect, and to speak up against discriminatory measures against them, like the recent trans military ban. And neither do you!

If you know someone before and after transitioning, it can be particularly challenging. You have to get used to different pronouns–which won’t come naturally–and probably a different name. It’s a struggle. You’ll fuck up from time to time. But what’s important is putting in the effort, and showing that you care.

A recent study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health shows how important it can be to make that effort. Via ThinkProgress:

Researchers at the University of Texas at Austin interviewed transgender youths ages 15-21 in three cities in different parts of the country about their chosen name use, depressive symptoms, and suicidal thinking and behavior. Respondents indicated whether they were able to use their chosen name in different contexts, including at home, at school, at work, or with friends.

The results showed a very clear link. For each additional context in which they could go by their chosen name, there was a 29 percent decrease in suicidal thoughts and a 56 percent decrease in suicidal behavior.

Emphasis added.

Simply using a person’s chosen name can literally help to save their life! According to the National Institutes of Health, the rate of suicide attempts for transgender people ranges from 32% to 50% in various countries, with 41% of American trans people trying to take their own life at least once. In Australia, fully half of transgender people attempt suicide, which is staggering.

To all the transgender people out there, whether friends, acquaintances or strangers, on this Trans Day of Visibility I want to tell you I see you. I may fuck up from time to time when it comes to a pronoun or a name, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have your back. Stay strong!

Islam and Muslims

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I just wrapped up an extended Twitter “discussion” on Muslims and Islam. I didn’t even bring them up, someone jumped in with an attack on Muslims while I was getting scolded for being too intolerant of intolerance.

https://twitter.com/DavidDavid__NYC/status/833848883994251265

And then this happened:

islam

(Not sure why, but the original tweet seems to have been deleted.)

So let’s talk about this, shall we?

I do not support,condone or defend Islam. I don’t like any organized religions, but I’d have to place Islam at the bottom of the list among major world religions. It’s extremely patriarchal and oppressive toward women, and even though it’s true a strong majority of Muslims don’t condone it, has been used to justify a great deal of violence in the modern world.

However, that doesn’t mean I’m going to countenance persecution of or discrimination against Muslims just based on them being Muslims. That is both morally wrong and unwise. Attitudes among Muslims run on a spectrum, and vary greatly country to country and region to region. For example:

Attitudes toward Islamic law vary significantly by region. Support for making sharia the law of the land is highest in South Asia (median of 84%). Medians of at least six-in-ten Muslims in sub-Saharan Africa (64%), the Middle East-North Africa region (74%) and Southeast Asia (77%) also favor enshrining sharia as official law. But in two regions, far fewer Muslims say Islamic law should be endorsed by their governments: Southern and Eastern Europe (18%) and Central Asia (12%).

…

[I]n some countries where Muslims make up more than 90% of the population, relatively few want their government to codify Islamic law; this is the case in Tajikistan (27%), Turkey (12%) and Azerbaijan (8%).

Distinct legal and political cultures may help to explain the differing levels of support for sharia. Many of the countries surveyed in Central Asia and Southern and Eastern Europe share a history of separating religion and the state. The policies of modern Turkey’s founding father, Mustafa Kemal Ataturk, for example, emphasized the creation of a secular government; other countries in these two regions experienced decades of secularization under communist rule. By contrast, governments in many of the countries surveyed in South Asia and the Middle East-North Africa region have officially embraced Islam.

By the way, Sharia sounds scary (and it definitely can be) but of course it’s more complex than many people realize. Severe punishments (beating, stoning for adultery, execution for apostasy, etc.–which I condemn, in case there is any doubt) are only part of it, and again support for them varies greatly throughout the Muslim world.

Even though I don’t follow any religion myself, our country was founded on religious freedom, and that means I’m free to be atheist as much as Mary is free to be a Christian and Ahmad is free to be a Muslim. Freedom of religion is freedom of religion, as long as your beliefs aren’t harming others. That means we absolutely want to keep violent extremists out of our country, and combat violent extremism around the world…which by the way, Muslims are helping us do.

We also want to let in those who are fleeing extreme violence, like in Syria. And we want to welcome those who choose to be part of a secular nation like the United States, where no religion is dominant over others. We’re not going to eradicate Islam; it’s preposterous to try. What we want is to encourage progressive Islam and welcome its adherents. Those who believe women deserve equal rights, that killing gays is wrong and unprovoked violence in the name of their God is evil.

By painting all Muslims (yes, I’m #NotAllMuslims ‘ing this) with a broad brush, and assuming they all want to do us harm, we’re only making it easier for extremism to thrive, and harder for the religion to modernize and moderate. It just doesn’t make sense.

Details, Details

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Details and facts matter. This is true whether they are convenient for us or not. So some time has passed, we know more about Donald’s executive order about immigration, and some other historical context has come to my attention. So let’s talk about it.

About that list

First, like many others I implied that Donald cherry picked the list of countries to be effected by the ban based on his business interests. This appears to not be the case. As many conservatives, including the administration, are pointing out today, the list of countries originated during the Obama administration. It started with the Visa Waiver Program Improvement and Terrorist Travel Prevention Act of 2015, which President Obama signed into law. After that, the Department of Homeland Security (again, under Obama) added to the list, bringing it to what it is today. Mea culpa! So the administration didn’t create this list, but I’m sure they were overjoyed to find one that happened to align with Donald’s businesses AND was created under Obama, giving them deniability. Nonetheless, the facts are what they are and we need to acknowledge them.

So that means this is really Obama’s policy, right? Wrong! The list of countries is shared, the policy is not. Due to the Act, the people from these countries (or who had recently traveled to them) are not be eligible for visa waivers, meaning they have to apply for a visa (and go through the requisite screening process) to enter the US. This legislation was criticized at the time, from both sides, but the fact is it goes nowhere near as far the latest executive order. The policies are not at all alike.

But wait, there’s more

Another attempt to tie this to Obama, and therefore indicate that protests are either wrong or hypocritical, is to compare it to his 2011 action regarding Iraq. In a nutshell, in 2011, after a terrorist plot was discovered, the Obama administration stopped processing applications for refugees from Iraq for six months. This article does a good job of describing the differences between this executive order and Obama’s 2011 action, but I’ll summarize the key ones here: Continue reading →

Muslims and Police, What?

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If you’ve been living under a rock (or aren’t American, though I suspect this is getting a lot of international attention) you might not know that America’s first Orange President has followed through on one of his more odious campaign promises by ordering a de facto partial ban on Muslim immigrants.

Partial because it applies only to certain countries. And how many of the 9-11 hijackers came for those countries? None…zero. Of course, some people noticed something curious about the Muslim countries excluded from that list, namely that they are countries in which Donald has business interests! Isn’t that special? Oh, and one more thing. People who already immigrated to the US legally are caught up in the web. Continue reading →

Trump Happened

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So, Trump happened. I kept hoping I’d wake up from this nightmare, or some superhero would swoop in and save us, but no, this is the reality. Donald Trump is sitting in the Oval Office at the White House.

Now what?

I’m gay, but I’m also white and male and I earn a comfortable living (aside: I’m willing to bet most in the “Gays for Trump” camp fit that description as well), so I enjoy a certain amount of privilege. If I were to put my head down, stay quiet and not cause any trouble for the next few years, I’d probably be–relatively speaking–OK.

Fuck that.

It’s not good enough. It should never be good enough, not for me, not for you, not for anyone. I plan to use whatever privilege I have to support and protect those who need it. And when I run out of privilege, I’ll keep going. This time is going to be a true test of our character. I don’t know what the fighting is going to entail, but I suspect there will be a lot it. We can’t allow our country to get less equal, less safe or less free. America has always been a work in progress. Even 18 months ago, when the idea of President Trump was a joke to almost everyone (even Donald himself), no one thought this country was perfect. But we had just witnessed an era of progress, despite unprecedented obstructionism from our historically useless Congress, dominated by a radicalized Republican party. I was excited to keep that progress going!

But that progress is going to have to wait; that radicalized party is in control, and led by a monster. For now we’ll be fighting tooth and nail just to keep what we have, to not take too many steps back.

So the first thing I’m going to do–the first of many, but we have to start somewhere–is to attend the Chicago version of the Women’s March tomorrow (or today, it’s almost midnight as I type this). Of his many bad qualities, Donald’s attitude–and resulting behavior–toward women is probably the most appalling. He views women as objects, either to be obtained like trophies or as a means to an end. They’re certainly not equals. Even without him, the Republican party had been chipping away at women’s health for years and more recently began ramping up that assault, attempting to obliterate Planned Parenthood.

It’s a small thing, but tomorrow (today) I’ll stand with my sisters and send a message.

If you come for them, you come for me, too.