And Then There Was One

Trump holding up hands with tiny fingers
Photo credit: Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

Someone pinch me, I think I’m dreaming! It can’t really be that Donald Trump is the Republican nominee for president, can it?

Ted Cruz “suspended his campaign” (the term generally used for dropping out) last night, after losing the Indiana primary to Trump by a large margin. Last night one of John Kasich’s senior staff (I forget which, will update if I find it) was saying he would stay in, but today the reports are that Kasich will suspend his campaign, leaving Trump as the last man standing from a previously enormous Republican field and the GOP nominee.

OK, I should say “presumptive” nominee. I guess there could still be some shenanigans during the convention. And the Donald could also announce that he was just fucking with us this whole time, and that we’re a bunch of morons and drop the mic. Wouldn’t that turn some people’s world upside down?

Ladies and gentlemen, all this time I have been playing a character. A loud-mouthed, lying, racist, misogynist with no real qualifications for the job, to be exact. I never thought it would get this far, but Americans are more stupid than I would have ever believed! As my character would say, ‘What a bunch of losers!’ I suggest all the Trump 2016 supporters take some time to reflect on what they were really supporting, and who they are. And our leaders, especially those in the Republican party, should think long and hard about how they helped create an environment in which Donald Trump the character could come so far. Let this serve as a wake-up call.

With that, I am suspending my campaign to be the Republican nominee for president. Good luck, and God bless America.

Oh, I wish!

Some day there will be books written with various opinions on how exactly we got here, but for now we need to just focus on how to avert disaster.

Still digesting all this. You can expect more blogging on the election to come.

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